weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
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