Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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