I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
