Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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