About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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