hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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