I wish you could order shots online.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
