made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
