There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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