Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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