My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Randomize
