Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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