youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize