It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize