You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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