I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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