hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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