Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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