He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
