Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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