woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
