Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
