I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
