i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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