I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
No...this little piggys going to the bar
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
