What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think I sprained my soul last night
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
