So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
