Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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