i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
