Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
