his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
