I'm jealous of your bromance
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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