i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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