Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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