The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
