But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize