Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
