Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
