i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
