i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
