Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
