You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
