You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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