for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
