You're so nebulous sometimes
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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