Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I look better un-naked...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
