glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
