I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
