it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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