do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
