Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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