In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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