he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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