There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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