dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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