No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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