Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
