She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
