woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
