woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm passing your future prison.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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