i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
