Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
