Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
