jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
