So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
