It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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