so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
