and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
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Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
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My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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