p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
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How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
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i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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