Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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