after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
